


Hush.

by orphan_account



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, First Person, Insecurity Issues, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-28 17:02:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3862618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hush. Hush. Don't say a word. I'll turn out the lights and wait.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hush.

**Author's Note:**

> Read and enjoy :)

Hush. Don't you say a word. Don't you say a single word. Let me turn out the lights, let me push down the blinds. Hush. Wait. stay where you are and let me come to you. Don't move, don't speak.

Hush. Let me look at you. I can see the gold of your hair and the blue of your eyes, and all the light I need seeps in like a thief from the cracks under your door. I could drown in those eyes of yours, touched and tinged with terror as they are. I have been loved often and greatly. I have never been feared. You are the first, the very first to look at me like I was worthy of fear. And I hate that. I want those eyes to look at me with faith, with the reassurance that I won't hurt you, because darling, I swear I  _won't._ I'll never hurt you. Not now, not ever. This is the last wall between us, the last fetter separating you and me. Let me shatter it now and forever more. Let me shatter it, sweet darling. Please.

My fingers are long against your collar. I smooth it down, as if I won't tear off your shirt later tonight. My fingers dip into the crevices of it, pushing, caressing. I know you're mesmerized by them, that's alright. I glide them over your clothing and reach the side of your neck. Your skin is very smooth darling. Velvety, like chocolate and masquerade balls. Like secrets and desire. You close your eyes, breathless with want. My fingers slip into your hair, tugging, insistent. You're like a doll in my hands, pliant, tender. Mine to move in anyway I like. You have no idea how possessive that makes me feel. Your head falls into the crook of my neck, and there is no ecstasy greater than mine as I cradle your head to my chest.

Hush. This is difficult for you, I understand. You've been hurt so many times, your heart been broken into tiny shards of glass powder. I know I was too late my love, forgive me. But let me have the last splinters left. Let me hold them in my hand, even if they cut me. I hold you close and I think of them. Of all of them who hurt you. I wonder if I'll ever forgive them.

Your mum, she was the first wasn't she? When she died, she left a hole in you, and it never healed. I guess it didn't help that your dad was so upset he threw himself into his work. So uptight, you'd have done anything for a smile from him. Including selling your soul. He hurt you darling. He hurt you with his indifference, with his disappointment. He hurts you still. 

Hush. Darling not now. Don't break now. Not before I've taken you apart and fixed you again. Let me lay you down and love you. Let me kiss every inch of warm skin. Touch me dearest. Go on. I know you want to. I watch you, you know. I watch you when you're there in the board room, stating your facts as if you aren't afraid of anything. You intimidate people. You fight for their respect. But you guard your heart like a gold mine. I should know. I know you, love. I know.

You loved Gwen, didn't you? I loved her too. Still do. Loved her longer than I knew you. Knew that she and Lance had gone behind your back. I knew that. I never imagined that you would be the one left in the fallout. I love them. But I can't forgive them for what they did to you. I can't forgive them for breaking you apart.

I know how you dealt with the fallout. Mithian was nice, yes. But she wasn't the one, was she? She tried, you tried, you both tried, and you drifted. You both did. Your father blamed you. I don't darling. Look at me darling. No- look. At. Me.

Hush dearest. I know Elena was sweet. I know Uther was all for it. She loved Gwaine, though. Sharp, womanizing Gwaine with his track record for breaking hearts. Over you, the boy who gets left behind all the fucking time. I know you almost gave your heart away. I'm glad you didn't.

I'm sorry about Sophia and Viv. I'm sorry Sophia drugged you out. I'm sorry she nearly killed you. I know you don't remember anything, but I do. You were a pale ghost in my arms, in the back of a taxi. I held you and I never wanted hold anyone else. For the first time I realized that maybe your life was not as perfect as it seemed.

I disliked you, then. I thought you arrogant, and difficult, and unshakeable. I lusted for you, though. My poor traitorous body was mesmerized by yours, and I imagined that you could never feel the like for me. Only you do, sweetheart. And that scares you.

Hush, love. Let me finish what I want to say. I've divested you of clothes and now we lie, skin on skin, lips on lips, heart to heart. Your skin tastes like warmth and joy. Your lips on my body feel like trails of fire. Your arms lock around me like steel cords and mine hold you safe as I worship you. Don't speak love. Don't you break this enchantment I'm weaving. 

I only found how human you were that morning I came in late, to see you holding Gwen's wedding invite. Your eyes were dead. For some miraculous reason, I noticed, and owing to some higher power, I stayed with you. It was the first time I held you and you held me in return. I came home, my shirt wet with your tears, my heart full with your grief. Perhaps I had been wrong to judge you harshly. You were, after all, a little broken, and I the one to fix you. 

Hush darling. Hush.

There you go. Sliding into me like you belong exactly there. It took me weeks to convince you that loving you would not hurt me. Even longer to show you that our love was the purest bliss. I'll hold you close, grappling at your back where my nails will mark your naked skin as you move.  _(In out in out in.out in.out inoutinoutinout yesyesyesyesyes.)_ You make me breathless with your lovemaking, shy and tender, sweet and brave at the same time. Pleasure is white hot beneath my eyelids and yet, I hold them open.

I want to see you, my love. I want to see you fall off the edge with me. Hush now, and let me drag you over. Let's tumble right down and free fall into oblivion. 

Hush my love, my only darling. The night is young, and you and I have only yet begun. It feels like a dream, that I can hold you and kiss you, make love to you, be made love to by you. That the icy persona you cling to has been shed for something more wonderful than my words have capacity of relating. I love you dear heart, and though you won't say it, I know you love me too. Sometimes I think you love me too deeply. Someday, I know you'll tell me how. 

"Merlin" you whisper brokenly. "Merlin". you gasp as I suck your words out of your mouth. They taste like coffee and mint toothpaste and forever. My tongue in the cavern of your mouth, warm and wet and lush like a desert after the first rains. Your teeth on my lips, biting, marking, and your lips, soft as an angel's breath. I can make you forget them. The grief, the emptiness, the demanding career, the failed lovers, the pills that stand on the dresser, the constant reminder that really, you are  _not_ alright. Let me try sweet darling. Let me be your salvation, as you have been mine. 

Hush love. You are my Virgil, you are my Beatrice, you are my lover and my muse. I could paint you in the deepest colours, drown you in the brightest shades, turn you out on canvas, make you my mona lisa. Hush my love, my prince, my  _Arthur,_ don't break this spell I'm casting. 

My hands wrap around you and rest on your chest. I feel the thrum of your heart through the skin, the muscle and the bone. I turn you around in my arms and press my lips over that little jumping creature in the cavity inside you. You saved me, dear heart, saved me from my damnation, the damnation I call loneliness. You look at me like I hung the moon and stars and scare me though it may, I will never trade it for something less. 

"Merlin," you whisper. I look up at you. Your eyes are bright and just a little wild. Sheer terror shines like a warning light cutting through the blue,and I find that your terror casts an iron grip on my heart.

"Merlin," You repeat. "I love you."

I smile, my heart full to bursting with delight. You've never said it before, not out loud.  This is your first time, and I feel like an emperor to have been let into your soul. "I love you too, Arthur." I whisper in your ear. You arms tighten around me. Tentatively you kiss my forehead, and I feel the promise of eternity when you do. 

"Darling," you call me. "Dear Merlin. I love you." I know you're trying to get used to three words that you never say. You should say them more often. You should say them always. 

"I know dear heart, I know."

"Please-" you break off suddenly. 

"What is it, Arthur?"

"Please- Please don't leave me."

Oh.  _Oh, Arthur._

I hold you tighter, wrap one leg around your waist, because, God above, I cannot bear to be apart from you here and now. My tears slip out unbidden as I press you closer closer  _closer_ and you nuzzle into the crook of my neck.

"Never." I hiss fiercely. "Never." And that seems to be enough.

Hush now, Arthur of mine. You're safe in the cradle of my arms. I love you more than I can say.

Hush dearest dearest love. you are mine as I am yours.

From this day, to the end of my days.

 


End file.
